Category Archives: comedy

Explosion (Behind Me)?

For the Action Pact, here’s a song about how the hero walks slowly unflinching from a ginormous explosion.

Lyrics

Was there an explosion behind me
Because I Didn’t notice
I Casually walk away from
Whatever Exploded
Was there an explosion behind me
Because I Didn’t notice
I Casually walk away from
Whatever Exploded

I leave a trail of gasoline behind me
And then I light a match
It doesn’t matter if it’s in a warehouse full of bad guys
That I’m trying to catch
They try to get me, they’ll never get me though
I just walk out the front door real slow
Everything goes boom boom boom
Whenever I leave the room

Was there an explosion behind me
Because I Didn’t notice
I Casually walk away from
Whatever Exploded
Was there an explosion behind me
Because I Didn’t notice

 

Explosion Art

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Her or the Job

Still working on the Action Pact, my concept EP that parodies and pays homage to 80s Action Movie Cliches and 80s Rock Music. The latest track is an attempt at a power ballad. I might need to do a bit more research and a few more takes to get it right. I think it’s a good start. The cliche from action films here is the wife/girlfriend of the hero protagonist telling him to choose between her and police work. I think this distills the essence of that theme pretty well.

Lyrics
She wants me to choose
Between her and the job
But I, I don’t want to loose
Either her or the job

When we first met I was just a young cop on the beat
I heard her yelling stop thief who stole her purse on the street
And later that night she asked me to join her for dinner
It was love at first sight I really felt like a winner
But now I’m working late nights, and she always complains
Putting in overtime, she says that nothings the same
She says she needs her man at home, what am I gonna do
Only thing I love more than police work, is coming home to you

Now she wants me to choose
Between her and the job
But I, I don’t want to loose
Either her or the job

She wants me to choose
Between her and the job
But I, I don’t want to loose
Either her or the job
Her or the Job

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Never Reload

An ode to the 80s Action Movie Cliche where the hero’s gun never seems to run out of bullets. References the Konami Code from the Nintendo game Contra.

Lyrics
I never have to reload
It’s like I got the Konami Code
I kill my enemies cold
And my gun is about to expload
Up Up Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B,A Start
Up Up Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B,A Start

Got my back against a wall
listen how all the shell casings fall
You’re wondering how man shots
Don’t try to count because it’s a lot
Magic bullets magic gun
If you see me coming you better run
Action Pact to the extreme
The body count I leave is obscene

I never have to reload
It’s like I got the Konami Code
I kill my enemies cold
And my gun is about to expload
Up Up Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B,A Start
Up Up Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B,A Start
Up Up Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B,A Start

never reload

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Getaway

Continuing on with the hit parade of my tribute album to 80s Rock music and 80s Action Movie cliches and tropes, his time it’s an ode to the mandatory car chase in pretty much every action movie ever. I hope to here it in a car commercial one day, or maybe in a movie that’s just a little too on the nose.

https://soundcloud.com/abdowell/getaway-wont-let-them

Lyrics

The Crooks want to get away
Gotta have a chase on the highway
Getaway Getaway, They wanna getaway
Getaway Getawy, Won’t let ‘em getaway

Robbers on the highway
they push the petal to the Red LIne
Mess around with me
you get a permanent Bed Time
Smashing through the barricades
and crashing into Squad Cars
Thought they’d getaway,
but really they never got far
Jumping over ramps
at maximum acceleration
What they didn’t count on
was my determination
I Bumped into their backside
they spun out of control
Mess with the law
then you got to pay the toll

The Crooks want to get away
Gotta have a chase on the highway
Getaway Getaway, They wanna getaway
Getaway Getawy, Won’t let ‘em getaway
The Crooks want to get away
Gotta have a chase on the highway
Getaway Getaway, They wanna getaway
Getaway Getawy, Won’t let ‘em getaway
Getaway Getaway, They wanna getaway
Getaway Getawy, Won’t let ‘em getaway

getaway

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A Spear Chucker Now – Chuck Spears

Spearchucknow

So I was feeling a little nostalgic and looked through my old rhymes on my old blog, Stop Trying To Play Me and came across this post. I decided those lyrics needed to be punched up and laid down on a track. . I’ve been meaning to sample a scene from Bowfinger, one of my favorite movies. So I did exactly that

Verse 1
The thing about Chuck Spears, it  ain’t my given name.
It’s my taken name and right now I’m takin aim.
Not a muh f**ker outchere – trying to make it rain.
Money over bichez – (all day)- flying paper planes
(Eat  -mangoes) so a chick  can get – flavored brains
(swallow every drop) –  don’t gotta think about – labor pains
(Bastards ain’t mine) – other dudes gotta take the blame
(Players gone play) – give a f*ck – if you hate the game
Verse 2
Used to, hold the door for chicks like Johnny Be Good
Now I bang ‘em in the bathroom like Mami we, good?
Throw up the peace sign, throw up in the next stall
Then jump on the stage and holla, Yes Yes Y’all
We Don’t stop, throw your hands in the air
And say Ho, grab my nuts. See? I just don’t care
‘Cause it ain’t even a show there ain’t even a mic
On a table in a diner rapping with a butter knife
Missed the gig, my bad  it was the other night
Am I wrong for that, these days I don’t do nothing right
I’m dead wrong,  good thing I’m true and livin’
Try to check me on it,  come on, who ya kiddin’
I’m Chuck, Part Samson, Part Charles Manson
MMM Bop I’m Part Hanson, just start dancin’
No reason to stand still I like moving targets
My Spit got you open – kinda like chewing carpet
Verse 3
Bald head and goatee, like a black ming the merciless
sickness contagious on some dot dot circle shit
in a dark cabin I’m creepin up all murderous

brains on the walls confuse obituary journalists
put on headphones see how mind blowin my vesres is
for example watch a star from afar like Copirnicus
Straight heat to ya grill, like you’re pressed up on furnaces
No more Mr. Niceguy, Chuck Spears gone Bezerkowitz
Cross me on a bad day and all ya dreams turn to shit
having Nightmare see ya old Granny  turning tricks
got ya drooling down ya chin, kids gotta learn to spit
Don’t even practice with my lines – guarnteed to burn ya lips

 

ChuckSpearsLogo.gr-bl

 

 

ChuckSpearsLogo-bk-rd

 

 

 

ChuckSpearsLogo.eps

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Let’s Go Ghostbusters… Gritty

let's go

 

The poster is a gritty reboot of this filmation classic from the 80s.

 

 

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Nugget – Video

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