I know some of you have to endure the biggest night for dating and romance in all of western society. Valentine’s Day. It’s crazy, this movie The Vow, starring Channing Tatum, a pretty boy with all the personality of barn wall, beat Denzel’s new flick Safe House at the box office this past weekend. If you had to see The Vow, consider yourself lucky. These are the Date Movies playing now on an alternate Earth.
Who Gave Me Herpes?
Some people have trouble finding the one. She’s having trouble finding the one who infected her.
Private Dancer
Former stripper leaves the game to be all she can be, turns out all she can be is a stripper.
unCONVENTIONal LOVE
A guy on a business trip has a mix up at the convention center, he’s in love with a cosplayer, but she never gets out of her costume. He doesn’t seem to mind.”
85 and Pregnant
“Due to a mix-up at the pharmacy, this octogenarian is due to be an octo-mom.”
The sad thing is the movies men love from our universe haven’t been spared. It’s all Romance all the time on the sad Earth our scientists discovered. Batman, Gladiotor, Oldboy all RomComs. Don’e believe me, just look.
Love and Dumplings
“The man is wrongly imprisoned, everything else about their love, is just wrong.”
Commodus’ Colosseum
“He’s great at in a sword fight, mainly because he’s such a prick.”
“When he was young someone told him all women love a man with a sense of humor, he took that to heart. Now he’s stealing hearts everywhere.”
What this alternate universe got wrong though was what they consider high art. In our universe Earth Girls Are Easy was a cheesy b-movie comedy, over in the alernate universe, it swept the Oscars.
Happy Valentine’s Day, lucky people of the slightly less absurd Earth.
Ungowa Soul Power 
Nice work, I would much rather see these films then most of the terrible rom-coms that keep getting spit out by the studios.